“Welcome to the ELECTRIC SCOOTER BEAUTY CONTEST.

“We have a runway full of gorgeous models. Oh yeah. They all want to save the environment (which they can, because they’re electric) and they all want to work with children (which they can’t, because they’re… scooters).

Cast your eyes over the gorgeous creatures, then vote for the one you want to win. Electric scooters can now go up to 70 mph and travel up to 70 miles on one charge. Fuel crisis? What fuel crisis? Take care now.”

“Don’t worry if you haven’t ridden any of the bikes, this contest is all about looks, man.”

VOTE HERE

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1. “Contestant number 1, above, is the Vectrix. No skinny model this, it’s one for those who like their electric scooters to have a little muscle.”


2. “Number Two on the runway is a classy little number. Probably insists on bottled mineral water in its dressing room. It’s the EVT-168.”

3. “Next to sashay its booty down the highway is this, the Ego Scooter. You’ll either love it or hate it. How dare it be styled so… differently. Might appeal to the girls who like to shop till they drop.”


4. “Our next contestant is wearing the most outrageous bonnet - I mean windshield. Never seen one with that many curves. It’s the EVT-R20.”

5. The next beauty, is the true punk of this contest. It’s a scooter with attitude. Its seat looks like it was stolen from a Hog. It’s the Skeuter Condor.”

6. “If retro’s your thing, you’ll appreciate our next model to strut its stuff. Harking back to La Dolce Vita of Rome, it’s the E-Moto.

7 .”The utilitarian E-Max Scooter. It’s like a good pair of dungarees that you just can’t throw away.

“So that’s it. Cast your vote and we’ll see who wins in a month or so.”